See you soon...

It's true what they say about role models. They come into your life when you least expect it, and they change your outlook on things. They teach you how to be an independent individual, and they teach you how to manage yourself. They may be in your life for a moment, or they may be in your life forever; but you look up to them and most of all, you respect them.

When a potential role model enters your life, you don't always know at first. Time progresses and you find yourself truly caring about that person. I have a particular person in mind as I write this and I think she has defined what a role model is to me. She is always available when I need advice. She is dependable, honest, loyal, and extremely hardworking. Although we have separate career paths, she has instilled in me a desire to be the BEST that I can be. She believes in my abilities even though I don't always believe in them myself, and she keeps me on track when I get distracted.

I wrote this post because I have to say good-bye for a brief period of time to this individual, and it has made me realize how much I appreciate the impact she has had on molding the person that I become and the person that I want to be, even though she may not realize that she has.

The Feeling of Indifference

There is no feeling more peculiar than the feeling of indifference.

The definition of indifference is a lack of interest, concern, or sympathy. This definition describes my feelings for the majority of today. I woke up as I do everyday, ate a bagel and drank my morning coffee as I do everyday, and went to work as I normally do. But as the rain poured outside of my job, and the thunder roared, my interest in making the best out of the day drifted away slowly.

I wasn't happy, and although I thought I was sad, I realized that I had no reason to be sad. I was feeling indifferent; and I began to think about what could cause such a feeling to overcome me. I thought about my routine and my every day life, and I felt defeated. Although I enjoy my job, and I enjoy my life very much, I find myself yearning for something more. I am so anxious to start the next phase of existence and I feel as though I am stuck on the current page of my life story, slowly waiting to finish reading so that I can flip to the next one. I have four years left of college before I will be able to take the bar exam and become the lawyer that I strongly desire to be. There are four years left until I find out whether I have what it takes to really make something of myself. There are four years left until I find stability, and open myself up to the idea of marriage and making a family.

I feel like my current endeavors are just short term; and today I felt unmotivated to excel in them. I felt unmotivated to be the best that I can be, which is very unlike me. I also felt exhausted emotionally, physically, and mentally.

I now strive to lose this feeling of indifference, because I am better than that. I am interested. I am concerned, and I am sympathetic. I am the opposite of indifferent, but the negative thoughts that build up inside of me have a tendency to swallow me whole. Once I start to feel like the water is rising above my head, I continue to let it rise.

Is the feeling of indifference something that everybody feels? Is anybody so interested and so passionate about life that they don't ever feel unconcerned?

Is the feeling of indifference a substitution for the feeling of sadness and being lost? Do we act unconcerned to cover the feeling that we are losing ourselves in our routine?

The Intricate Web that is Love

How is it that an individual can alter his or her entire life to facilitate the wishes and needs of another human? If true love does not exist, then what is it that possesses us to devote so much of ourselves to someone? Is it merely the idea of love that we desire, or is it in fact, true love?

I don't have the facts to prove that true love exists, but I for one believe that it does. I think that when we meet someone there is either a connection or there is not, whether it be a friendly connection or a romantic connection. I do not believe in love at first sight, because I believe that you cannot truly love someone until you have seen them at their worst and accepted them anyway. And I don't think anyone has the right to tell an individual who they are allowed to love. It's like telling a baby not to cry. We don't choose who we fall in love with. Most of the time we fall in love blindly and unaware of whats really going on.

I've learned during the past two years in my relationship that to be in love is to adopt the feelings, wants, and needs of another. How is it that you can truly miss someone when they are only away for a weekend? It's simple. Your routine is disrupted. The individual that you spend all of your time with is absent for a brief period and it makes you feel like something isn't quite right. You go from one person in two bodies, to the independent being that you once were. And although being independent is something many people strongly desire, the feeling of getting to share that independence with someone else is indescribable. No one can tell you how to love and you don't have to follow the norms that society has laid out and expects you to follow. Your lovers desires mix with your own and your goals change; only slightly, but they do. The plan you set out for yourself alters, and you cater to the thought of sharing a life with someone.

This process is something that intrigues me.

When God created us, did he alter our genetic makeup to include the need for companionship?

Can you be truly happy alone?

Because everyone wants love. If you ask someone and they tell you no, it's because they haven't found it yet.

Introduction

This is more so an introduction for myself than for the readers. I've contemplated having a blog for a long time, but I've been hesitant because I feel as though the things I think and say are contained solely within myself. I don't want to offend, discourage, concern, intimidate, or simply bore the aquantances I've met along this journey called life. But as time has passed I've become intrigued by a world where an individual can wrap themselves up in everyday thoughts, jokes, and even internal conflicts; a world where a person can share these thoughts with everyone else in an effort to find those with similar opinions, situations, and difficulties. I have now chosen to become a part of this world and I am excited to share myself through creative writing with each person that choses to follow me.

I will create entries from my laptop (when I have plenty of time to think about what I choose to say), but I will also create shorter entries from my phone when I have random thoughts or questions. Some of my posts may be deep; some of them may be funny; some of them may be simple; and some of them may even be pictures, quotes, or lyrics that stick out to me and inspire me.

Cognitive thinking is the product of seven human-inherited skills: Attention, Working Memory, Processing Speed, Long-term Memory, Visual Processing, Auditory Processing, and Logic and Reasoning.

When these skills are put together, the process that occurs is conscious intellectual activity. The product is cognitive thinking.

I am a cognitive thinker and welcome to my blog.